Neglected Outsiders Anti-Defamation Society

You know, it doesn't matter how much you review, people keep writing badfic. We've hacked our way through several stories, and they were taken down. That's a good thing, but you stake one badfic through it's black, rotten heart, and ten more spring up. It's like fighting a fucking hydra. 

So, today we are going to talk about something that makes us want to take our sporks and collectively stick them into our eyes so we never have to read a badfic again. Of course, knowing how masochistic we are, we'd probably learn braille. 

"Romance" in fanfics. In actuallity, if there were romance in fanfics, there'd be tension and uncertainity. You wouldn't know whether the two parties would be getting together, and if the writer were skilled enough, you'd like them enough to hope that they would finally get to the boom-chicka-wow-wow. 

There isn't any damn romance. Usually the first member of the gang to have the terribly unfortunate luck to clap eyes on Mary Sue becomes her victim. That's right, pretties - doctors say nine of out ten badfics have Mary Sue's tru luv show up first. 

Now, this would only be interesting if Mary Sue, like some species of spiders, consumed her mate after ... well, mating. That would get our attention. Unfortunately, none of the gang are so lucky as to be devoured after knocking boots with pretty lil' Sue. Instead, they are doomed to write odes to the flowers in her hair, even though we're not 100 percent sure Two-Bit and Dallas can write (okay, we take that back, but we do stand behind the presumption that they don't write poetry).

What badficcers don't seem to understand is that, to truly fall in love with someone, you've got to know them, and to do that, you've got to pass more than five or so words with them before tragically collasping into a graceful heap at their feet. 

Now, we realize most of the badficcers writing these steaming piles probably are about fourteen or so and haven't ever been in love. Okay. Fine. Go read a fucking romance novel or something, will you? Not that it's the best example of love you're gonna find, but let's face it, this pinheads just aren't up to "Wuthering Heights" standards.